…doesn’t mean I will.
This scene will forever be incredibly painful to me. Axel, at this point, is probably 100% sure that he will never, ever see Roxas again. The very Roxas who made him feel like he had a heart, and made him experience jealousy and fear and sadness and, whether you see it platonically or romantically, love.This kid somehow embedded himself into Axel’s very being, so much so that Axel defied orders that he knew would cost him his life. He knew that Saix - his former best friend - would have him killed for disobeying orders, and yet Axel did so anyway, just so he could see Roxas again. And let’s not even get me started on how this fight - this fucking fight was Axel’s way of killing them both. In the novels, Axel planned to burn down the mansion with both him and Roxas inside so they died together, rather than get separated/killed by someone else. But Axel couldn’t do it, ‘cause it’s Roxas, ya know? It’s the only person (save for Xion, but he doesn’t remember her) that actually makes him feel something. So he just lets Roxas win, and promises to meet again in the next life. And you can tell by his body movement that he genuinely doesn’t believe that he’ll get a next life. He thinks this is it. He fucked up as Lea, he fucked up at Axel. There’s no more chances.
Except he was wrong. He did get a next life. He died, protecting Sora - protecting ROXAS - but he was given another chance. He was allowed to live again. Only Roxas isn’t there. It’s Roxas who didn’t get the next life. Roxas isn’t waiting for Axel, and so Axel’s all alone. The thing that mattered the most to him, the thing he gave his life for, isn’t there. He’s been given a new chance at life, but the reason he wanted the new life in the first place hasn’t.
This is why I find that scene even more heartbreaking. Because it’s Axel who had the next life. But Roxas wasn’t waiting for him. Axel’s just as lonely as now as he was before.
Hey, Axel. You haven't forgotten?
I’m really not sorry.
“He made me feel..”